For my next upcoming essay I would like to Achieve high by having the grade of 2-3 grades higher than my original grade right now.
- I can do that by improving and working on my PEEL structure , mostly the Link structure part.
- I can read through the questions for the essay more carefully if I want to have a high level of achievement instead of answering the instructions.
- Show my understanding through my essay with my own choice of words and language.
- Reread my essay so my choice of words make sense and my audience is hooked in.
- Include more vocabulary into my essay.
Wednesday, 5 June 2019
Thursday, 23 May 2019
Migration
Hello , My name is Emily Mayhem , I was involved in The Voyage in Britain in the 1850’s. I am going to tell you my experience of being apart of The Voyage. I was 7 years old at the time but I remember everything .I was living in England , London and working as a servant. Your probably thinking what is a 7 year old girl like me working as a servant , that may not be your normal but that was my normal I worked like that everyday for a really long time , 2 years , Then my caregiver thought it was about time to start a healthier life , She thought it was best , My mother died while giving birth to me and my father , I never knew him. Me and my caregiver (Erin) We were having our break and having lunch , I was extremely grateful because I don’t normally get a full meal , I barely get anything in a day . Anyways , While we were eating and enjoying our meal , Then there was a tall man that came in a suit , He was carrying large paper posters under his arm , He stopped nearby and stapled a post on the wooden wall in the bar I work at and left , On the poster was information on migrating to America , Australia , Canada and New Zealand .
I showed Erin this and I could tell by the look on her face that when she saw this poster , She was very determined to this idea. Today was Saturday July 14th and Migration Day is Monday July 16th , So we had 2 days to get a contract for Migration Day from the mayor of London . That may sound simple , But for 2 servants like Erin and myself were looked down on Because of how poor we were and how little money we had , So we chose to break a few laws along the process. Once we got the contract Erin signed her signature , and I just wrote my name . We got there , and you remember the few rules we broke , Well one of them was stealing . We wore the stolen clothing and entered the ship above and where I could see the ocean . I looked back to see where Erin had gone and when I turned I couldn’t see her , I searched before finally looking down and saw that Erin was down there standing with her hat in her hands and waved . This was her saying goodbye to me . We talked about how life would be without each other and she explained to me that maybe the soldiers wouldn’t let her on , but I didn’t think that she was serious , or maybe I just didn’t want to believe that . I tried to get past and run down the plank of the ship but the soldiers blocked it off . The ship was already moving and I didn't even realise it . I went inside the ship and looked for the closest bathroom and cried my eyes out. I didn't understand because why she left me . So after I was finished having a meltdown , I searched the ship for my bags and once I found them , There was a man and he came up to me to give me a key with a number on it. I think this was the key to my room. So I searched for a while before I found it . This room I shared with 2 other people , a sweet elderly lady who's name was Susan Cooper and Susan had her granddaughter with her , Her name was Elizabeth Cooper who was 12 years old . We became friends quite fast , and she helped me get over without being with Erin . I still couldn't understand why they didn't let her through , or I through to Erin.
Tuesday, 14 May 2019
English2019
The adverb sentence
Curiously , Quickly , Rapidly , Often , Importantly , Technically
, Firstly , Lastly , Remarkably , Similarly , Significantly , Surprisingly , Readily
Unexpectedly , The cat barked
Unexpectedly , The Pig Flew
Rapidly , The Dog Ran
Begin with a preposition
Preposition are words that indicate movement or position.
Against , Under , Above , In , At , Throughout , Behind , Over , Prior , Beyond
After The Photo Was Taken, The Camera Flashed
In The Greenhouse , The Plants Slowly Grew
Basic Body Paragraph 1
Point > State the point you with to make
Evidence > Provide evidence to support your point - 2-3 sentences/2-3 sentences that give evidence to your point
Explain > 3-4 Sentences that explain your evidence in relation to your point/question.
Link > Back to your point - 1-2 sentences - To the next paragraph - 1 sentence
Point > Books are better than movies - Everyone knows its better to read the book that watch the movie.
Evidence > For example , The movie made of Wonder is very different from the book. It leaves out lots of information. In the book that main teacher is female but in the move they are male. Also the camp incident missed out the info about Auggies hearing aide.
Explain > This incident made more sense in the book because he was bullied for having his 'lobo ears' which made his look different. It didn't make sense to bully him in the movie without them.
Link > For these reasons , the book was clearly better that the movie . However , you can enjoy the movie without reading the book.
The -ed start
The -ed start
Committed , Undaunted , Determined , Forced , Gifted , Blighted , Thrilled , Delighted , Blessed , Overpowered , Drafted , Surprised , Foreshadowed
Determined to beat their opponents , The players scored a goal
Defeated by the opponent , The Player gave up
The 'W' Start
Who , While , Whilst , When , Where , What , Whereas
When the bell rang , I continued my work
While I was at the game , My family was at a dinner party.
Point > School uniforms are a waste of time and money.
Evidence > School uniforms are a waste of time and money . They waste time and money because you can only wear them for school and nothing outside of school . If you change schools you have to pay more money.
Explain > Uniforms can be damaged easily and you grow out of them so you waste your time and your money because you have to pay for more uniforms clothing anyways. In my opinion , School uniforms only help students not get bullied for there sense of style in clothes .
16/5/2019
Preposition
After the photo was taken , The camera flashed
Adverb
Unexpectedly , The cat barked
-ed start
Determined to beat their opponents , The players scored a goal
The 'W' start
While I was at the game , My family was at a dinner party.
The -ing start
Deciding , Speaking , Seeing , Grasping , Rising , Looking , Holding , Emerging , Taking , Signalling , Analysing , Talking
e.g Talking about military successes , One must include Alexander the Great
Signalling for help , The survivors flashed a torch
Rising from the night , The sun rose
Adverb
Rapidly , The dog ran
Preposition
After the photo was taken , The camera flashed
-ed start
Committed to the team , The team captain came 2 hours early to practise
Ing start
Emerging from the cave , The bear woke up
'W' Start
While I was watching Television , The doorbell rang
Q - Quote , Rhetorical Question
T - Title of your book
A - Author of your book
K - Key argument
O - Outline
Example -
Have you ever lived through an invasion?
In John Marsden's 'Tomorrow When The War Began' eight young Australians venture into the bush , Only to return and discover an unknown face has invaded their town . A memorable idea from this text is that of courage . We see the characters show courage at first when they venture to the showgrounds . Next , When they rescue Lee after he is shot , and finally when they blow up the town bridge . These are memorable to the reader because they show the importance of courage to achieve things.
P - Courage is first shown when Ellie , Kevin and Corrie visit the show ground.
E - Tell me what happened
E - Fear overcome = Courage
L - This incident shows that courage is a memorable idea in the text because without courage they wouldn't know if their families are safe.
Mirror Conclusion
The idea of courage is memorable in John Marsden's Tomorrow When The War Began. This essay has shown courage was needed when the children visit the showground , rescue Lee and blow up the town bridge . These incidents show that courage is memorable because .
Determined to beat their opponents , The players scored a goal
Defeated by the opponent , The Player gave up
The 'W' Start
Who , While , Whilst , When , Where , What , Whereas
When the bell rang , I continued my work
While I was at the game , My family was at a dinner party.
Point > School uniforms are a waste of time and money.
Evidence > School uniforms are a waste of time and money . They waste time and money because you can only wear them for school and nothing outside of school . If you change schools you have to pay more money.
Explain > Uniforms can be damaged easily and you grow out of them so you waste your time and your money because you have to pay for more uniforms clothing anyways. In my opinion , School uniforms only help students not get bullied for there sense of style in clothes .
16/5/2019
Preposition
After the photo was taken , The camera flashed
Adverb
Unexpectedly , The cat barked
-ed start
Determined to beat their opponents , The players scored a goal
The 'W' start
While I was at the game , My family was at a dinner party.
The -ing start
Deciding , Speaking , Seeing , Grasping , Rising , Looking , Holding , Emerging , Taking , Signalling , Analysing , Talking
e.g Talking about military successes , One must include Alexander the Great
Signalling for help , The survivors flashed a torch
Rising from the night , The sun rose
Adverb
Rapidly , The dog ran
Preposition
After the photo was taken , The camera flashed
-ed start
Committed to the team , The team captain came 2 hours early to practise
Ing start
Emerging from the cave , The bear woke up
'W' Start
While I was watching Television , The doorbell rang
Q - Quote , Rhetorical Question
T - Title of your book
A - Author of your book
K - Key argument
O - Outline
Example -
Have you ever lived through an invasion?
In John Marsden's 'Tomorrow When The War Began' eight young Australians venture into the bush , Only to return and discover an unknown face has invaded their town . A memorable idea from this text is that of courage . We see the characters show courage at first when they venture to the showgrounds . Next , When they rescue Lee after he is shot , and finally when they blow up the town bridge . These are memorable to the reader because they show the importance of courage to achieve things.
P - Courage is first shown when Ellie , Kevin and Corrie visit the show ground.
E - Tell me what happened
E - Fear overcome = Courage
L - This incident shows that courage is a memorable idea in the text because without courage they wouldn't know if their families are safe.
Mirror Conclusion
The idea of courage is memorable in John Marsden's Tomorrow When The War Began. This essay has shown courage was needed when the children visit the showground , rescue Lee and blow up the town bridge . These incidents show that courage is memorable because .
Unihockey
On a scale of 1 to , rate yourself on how well you participated in the previous lesson , 10 being the whole time .
10/10
Why did you rate yourself the way you did?
Because I participated in everything , Even if I didn't feel comfortable I still did it.
What do you think you did well?
Participate more often , Because I used to hate doing anything physical because I got too nervous.
What skills did you use to accomplish posing and dribbling?
Used the Unihockey stick to block off the attackers .
What do you think you need to improve upon the next time? What strategies will you use?
People got the ball sometimes so try and run with the ball so they have a less of a chance of getting it.
Wednesday, 8 May 2019
Tomorrow When The War Began - Critical Literacy
What Views of The World is This Text Presenting?
Tomorrow When The War Began is based in the country Australia , But Tomorrow When The War Began can represent what is happening in the countries in Asia & Africa.
How Would The Text be Different if it were Told in Another Time , Place or Culture?
The book would be viewed differently and the views and thoughts of people would be different . The would be more laws told in the book and if in a different culture there would be different religions and traditions?
What Kinds of Social Realities Does This Text Portray?
What teenagers go through their years with and that the war crisis happening in Tomorrow When The War Began is happening in countries in continent Africa and Asia.
What Genre Does This Text Belong to?
Action , Drama , Romance (Sort of) and Thriller.
Tomorrow When The War Began is based in the country Australia , But Tomorrow When The War Began can represent what is happening in the countries in Asia & Africa.
How Would The Text be Different if it were Told in Another Time , Place or Culture?
The book would be viewed differently and the views and thoughts of people would be different . The would be more laws told in the book and if in a different culture there would be different religions and traditions?
What Kinds of Social Realities Does This Text Portray?
What teenagers go through their years with and that the war crisis happening in Tomorrow When The War Began is happening in countries in continent Africa and Asia.
What Genre Does This Text Belong to?
Action , Drama , Romance (Sort of) and Thriller.
Tuesday, 9 April 2019
Human Trafficking
Human Trafficking
Where is this happening?
Human Trafficking is happening all around Asian countries , Like Equatorial Guinea , Eritrea , Iran , North Korea and more.
What are the key reasons for Human Trafficking?
The purpose behind Human Trafficking is because for the purpose of exploiting the prostitution of others , sexual exploitation , forced labour and slavery , as well as the removal of their organs .
How can this happen?
According to Human Trafficking websites , To my understanding , They tell me that the cause of the starting of Human Trafficking is because of kidnapping and capturing Men , Woman and Children , by force if they don't follow orders .
Who can this happen to?
This happens to Men , Woman and Children of all ages and sizes . Man , Woman and Children satisfy the people that stole them . Mostly Woman and young children are used for the sexual purposes , The men are mostly used for oils and mines.
Why does human trafficking occur & how does this take away human rights & freedom?
SEEL Paragraph
Human Trafficking takes away both human rights and freedom because , people buy humans lives like they have no emotion and feeling , like items only to satisfy themselves . Woman and Children , Especially young girls , are most of the time used for sexual purposes , and normally forced in to marriage at young aged . This takes away children right to have an education and a proper childhood. An example is when some young children are working in mining , oiling , child slavery or child soldiers they have their right to have an education and have a childhood with the right to have freedom and right to speak their mind on what they think.
Human Trafficking is happening all around Asian countries , Like Equatorial Guinea , Eritrea , Iran , North Korea and more.
What are the key reasons for Human Trafficking?
The purpose behind Human Trafficking is because for the purpose of exploiting the prostitution of others , sexual exploitation , forced labour and slavery , as well as the removal of their organs .
How can this happen?
According to Human Trafficking websites , To my understanding , They tell me that the cause of the starting of Human Trafficking is because of kidnapping and capturing Men , Woman and Children , by force if they don't follow orders .
Who can this happen to?
This happens to Men , Woman and Children of all ages and sizes . Man , Woman and Children satisfy the people that stole them . Mostly Woman and young children are used for the sexual purposes , The men are mostly used for oils and mines.
Why does human trafficking occur & how does this take away human rights & freedom?
SEEL Paragraph
Human Trafficking takes away both human rights and freedom because , people buy humans lives like they have no emotion and feeling , like items only to satisfy themselves . Woman and Children , Especially young girls , are most of the time used for sexual purposes , and normally forced in to marriage at young aged . This takes away children right to have an education and a proper childhood. An example is when some young children are working in mining , oiling , child slavery or child soldiers they have their right to have an education and have a childhood with the right to have freedom and right to speak their mind on what they think.
Monday, 8 April 2019
10 Worst Countries Using Child Soldiers
Child Soldiers
Where is this taking place?
According to the video clip it is happening in Malaysia , Indonesia and the Philippines .
10 Worst Countries Using Child Soldiers
What is Child Soldiers?
Child Soldier is when children at very young ages lose their childhood because they are being used for child soldiers . They can go and follow the orders of their instructors or if not then they are forced and captured by them. The meaning behind having child soldiers is , according to Google , That they use them for sexual purposes , and of course to defend their country . But the reason they use children instead of adults is that they are much smaller in size , so they are much easier to handle , and can force and capture them when they want to.
Write a sentence about what your map is showing?
This map above is showing not only the countries using child soldiers , but they are the most extreme and most serious . They use the most force .
SEEL Paragraph
Why are children used in war & how does this take away their human rights? They use child soldiers for their sexual purposes , The females get married to the older soldiers , Men take younger girls and force them into marriage But there is another reason , that other reason is because children are much easier to handle . They are much less in weight and height so they have more of a chance of succeeding on kidnapping child soldiers . The child soldiers get given guns and weapons for war . They go against another country and accurate chances of at least 25 children losing their lives in each war as well as maimed . Child soldiers appear in Afghanistan , Sudan , Somalia and Yemen , there are more countries as well . I don't understand why they just marry the love of their life and end war so their is peace . This is the reason why many countries around Asia have appeared using Child Soldiers .
What is Child Soldiers?
Child Soldier is when children at very young ages lose their childhood because they are being used for child soldiers . They can go and follow the orders of their instructors or if not then they are forced and captured by them. The meaning behind having child soldiers is , according to Google , That they use them for sexual purposes , and of course to defend their country . But the reason they use children instead of adults is that they are much smaller in size , so they are much easier to handle , and can force and capture them when they want to.
Write a sentence about what your map is showing?
This map above is showing not only the countries using child soldiers , but they are the most extreme and most serious . They use the most force .
SEEL Paragraph
Why are children used in war & how does this take away their human rights? They use child soldiers for their sexual purposes , The females get married to the older soldiers , Men take younger girls and force them into marriage But there is another reason , that other reason is because children are much easier to handle . They are much less in weight and height so they have more of a chance of succeeding on kidnapping child soldiers . The child soldiers get given guns and weapons for war . They go against another country and accurate chances of at least 25 children losing their lives in each war as well as maimed . Child soldiers appear in Afghanistan , Sudan , Somalia and Yemen , there are more countries as well . I don't understand why they just marry the love of their life and end war so their is peace . This is the reason why many countries around Asia have appeared using Child Soldiers .
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